what are we wearing to weddings?
Why I recoil at the idea of outfits for weddings and the pieces I've found that have saved my proverbial bacon.
I’m going to say something controversial; weddings aren’t my favourite things. I think my husband and I were both surprised how much we loved our own. Spending a (usually) summers day outside (after the inevitable traffic and panic of being on time), with people we may want to see but not in this situation, in heels (me, not him), with too much drink and not enough food (until it’s too late).
The bride looks stunning, happy, loved up - it’s beautiful - and that bit is really great. But I am tired of pretending to be wowed by a pizza truck, a photo booth or a basket of personalised fit flops. Worse still I have to experience all of this in the thing I dislike the most; occasion wear. I can hand on heart say there hasn’t been a wedding that I’ve attended that I haven’t had a full on meltdown over my outfit beforehand (when I really think about this, the only exception to this was my own - I was weirdly calm).
I do not like being out of my comfort zone, clothing wise. It completely throws me off. I worry about wearing the wrong thing, too much, too little - it just isn’t fun. Invite me to your jeans-and-tee movie parties - I will be the last one standing. Invite me to your wedding and if I come just know I’ve had irrational sleepless nights over it.
Beyond the stress of finding something to wear is the wastage in it all. Ideally you’ll rent - but even that isn’t cheap. I do wish my friends and I had pulled together and all put in £50 for a few dresses and just rotated them. We’re near enough the same size (I did once contemplate a business around this but realised it wasn’t something that could be scaled, ha)
As much as I do think a dress code should be respected, I also think you should respect yourself enough to not wear something you’re wildly uncomfortable in. My vote goes to buying a dress you can repeat wear - to more than a wedding. Or, something you can resell (ie: a popular piece). Below are my own rules for overarching wedding guest dressing…
For more wedding guest outfit suggestions click here for a deeper edit, organised by colour (ie: a rainbow… because I got a little too into it).
some wedding guest outfit rules
Turns out I have more views than I thought…
If it’s on show, make sure it’s “ready to go’ = tidy nails, tidy toes, fresh feet, etc.
It is polite to ask the bride and groom what the general theme is (bright colours, light colours, etc). You don’t have to abide by it, but it is their day.
If nothing else try and find out what colour the bridesmaids are wearing and make sure you aren’t wearing it.
Choosing a neutral tone (or a colour you wear regularly) will not only feel more comfortable but also easier to re-wear the outfit.
The only people who should stand out are the bridal party in photos. You will be a guest multiple times - they’ll only do this once. Let them shine.
I would avoid the colour black, grey, stripes (often too corporate) and leopard print to a wedding. Unless you are coming in crutches, no trainers.
Personally I don’t like brand logos at a wedding, they look tacky.
If in a hot location bear in mind satin and silk isn’t great if it gets sticky (absolutely recommend Luna body deodorant if you are a sweaty betty).
Try and wear a shape you know you feel good in.
Block heels are often much better for outdoor weddings (and cobble-y churches).
Remember your sunglasses - and please for the love of god, no sporty shapes.
Great edit ! Link to the pumps doesn’t work?